Coping with Death Loss

Yesterday, my husband’s aunt visited us to tell that she is going back to their place in a not so far away province from Manila. She is the younger sister of my mother in-law based in Florida, USA. On her visit, she was melancholy saying that how she wished she could have written letters to Nanay more. I told her she had and showed her the letters she sent. These letters were kept by Nanay in a box.

My mother-in-law, which we call Nanay, passed away last February 7 of this year. She died of organ failure, and she was 74. She was living with us and we were with her since hubby and I decided to get married, and until her last days here in the house.

The aunt was very happy while browsing her letters I gathered from the box and was thankful enough that she was able to write. During the time, I saw a note and handed it to my husband. It was a hand-written note by Nanay and it was written at the back of an electricity bill. It made hubby cry with sobs.

It’s a good thing that a neighbor called from the door asking for something and so the sad memories were temporarily forgotten. The aunt told me that hubby’s bouts with loneliness will linger for a while. And it is okay to cry. Crying will help him release the sadness in his heart, she said.

I could not agree more. Unknown to hubby, during the time I was sorting the papers and other things in that box, I had come across Nanay’s scribblings, little notes to God thanking Him or asking him forgiveness and guidance. It also made me cry.

I believe that crying really helps in dealing with sadness, especially loosing someone because of death. It does not make anyone, especially men, weak. As I have written in this post, "It does not diminish a man’s virility if he cries once in a while. It does not downgrade a man to a lesser human being. Cry if you want to, in the confines of a room, or in the open. It strengthens a man no less than a woman.”

Hubby’s crying will continue. But I know he will be able to cope with the sadness. Time heals the wounds.