Husband Wants to Have Sex, and You Don't
69
Have you seen movie scenes where the husband wants to make love and his wife refuses?
It really happens. There are instances when the wife is not in the mood or is so drained she cannot perform. Most likely, the husband will be offended which triggers an argument or the husband will have feelings of resentment.
But in fact, a wife has a right to refuse to make love. The reason the marital rape law exists is to protect them from husbands who coerce their wives into the act even against their will and at times, coupled with physical injury.
Though the Bible says the wife has to be submissive to her husband, there are also verses that mention about respect that must be given to the wife. And vice versa.
The act is greatly fulfilling and it is undeniably true that we desire for it. Naturally, the act is not complete without the partner. Fulfillment though is not achieved when one of the partners is not willing or is only obliged to do one’s responsibility.
But if at one time the wife, or even the husband, does not feel like doing the act because she is not in the mood, or is tired, or has concerns hanging in the mind, or is ill, it is but right to understand the situation.
If you are the husband, what is wrong when your wife tells you that she does not feel like doing it? Or if you are wondering, you can ask and just respect the reason. There is no reason to feel offended or irritated, and much worst, to be angry if the reason is acceptable. Actually, it is not really necessary for the wife to explain. She has no obligation to do so. She has every right to refuse. Just think of the times you also feel like this, not in the mood to make love.
But sometimes when the wife turns you down, it is really not her intention. Perhaps she wanted a different approach to the act. Perhaps, the foreplay is not as effective as before, or the act simply had become boring. As the partner and as the husband, you can try soft whispers, cuddles, light touches and smooches, and even sweet nothings. Sometimes, you can become successful in rousing what has been snoozing earlier.
And if you as the husband will refuse making love, do it so as not to hurt your partner’s ego the same way that you would not want her to hurt yours.
CommentsLoading...
Loved the way you addressed this issue. It happens to both sides and both sides should be considerate of each other. Ps. Your Hubs are growing fast in number. Nice one. :)
During this time when husband is for sex while the wife is not in the mood normally result into husband raping their wife, this is kind of rape which is normal in marriages whereby a wife will submit to the husband demand, remember here the wife has not willingly accepted to have sex
you go girl!~!
great hub
dori
ralwus, it has to be mutual. it is an act where two people are involved that's why. :-) tinkered with adobe photoshop with that pic, applied plastic wrap.
Lady_E, very true. the hubs are growing in number but i hope they will remain informative - the ones that will follow, i mean.
oderog, you are right. it is marital rape.
fortunerep, thank you so much.
You are right, it does have to be a two way thing otherwise it is no fun at all. Your opening statement is so true and in the West the excuse is "I have a headache". I once made reference to this in the 7/11 I think it was (I can't recall what I was buying, condoms perhaps)...somewhere in Manila. The girl behind the the counter did not understand and so I explained. I remember her laughing and saying "Filipina never have headache!"
ha ha maybe an expression. it's half truth, peter.
this article is written only from the the perspective of the wife....OK fine...when the wife says no we have to understand....but it doesnt teach anything on what women can do to make her husband not feel rejected....
the hypocrisy is that wen the wife refuses sex, there are lot of reasons that men SHOULD understand...like not in the mood, not enough comfort and etc..
but when the husband refuses sex....HE MUST BE CHEATING....
hello, sach. thank you for taking time to share your thoughts. the issue is not about husbands refusing sex definitely. :-D that is another topic to discuss and i believe that men are the best resources when it comes to that topic. i cannot speak for them though in research, i can do an interview and write on the topic.
that suggestion of yours is a good one for a topic - WHAT WOMEN CAN DO TO MAKE HER PARTNER NOT FEEL REJECTED. i'll try to write about it one day. :-)
Nice article. Thanks for sharing.
thank you, mablu, for taking time to read.
A valuable lesson for the married. Great hub. Good work here
women who refuse their husbands are likely cheating on their spouses.
not true at all at all times. some husbands can be beasts that they lack the ability to understand that their partners also have moods or are stressed.
I'm tired of of listening that men are bad......woman are good. But what I don't understand is why do woman still want us men to woo them. Is it simply to become the slave(eg. do housework, take of kids, run errand). Also why we don't understand them. But do we try to understand us....
ralwus 2 years ago
Well written hub. I concur it must be mutual with the intent of pleasure for both. That's an interesting picture up there.